Prisoner's Dilemma

Tonight, I saw the movie, The Dark Knight. It was simply awesome. I'm about to go off on a bit of a rant here (not like Dennis Miller though) and I don't know how it will look afterwards, but we'll see....

My parents immigrated to this country back in 1989. I was five years old. I remember back in India I was a huge fan of He-Man. I know that He-Man was here in America, too, but certainly not on the TV networks that we got with bunny ears when we first came here. But I found a new hero at the time. It was Batman. I used to watch Batman every day. I didn't like Superman, I didn't like the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and I definitely didn't like Dick Tracy. I could never put my finger on why I loved Batman so much, but now that I think about it, it really just has to do with the complexity of his character, the daulity of purpose.

I saw Batman and Batman Returns. I liked them okay. At the time, the action was what I was into and as those satisfied me enough. But I never bought Michael Keaton as Batman or Bruce Wayne. A short, normal looking bald man. This is the same reason I can't watch Spiderman (I mean, come on, Tobey McGuire??).

After this, around 1992-1993, Batman The Animated Series (BTAS) started coming on regularly in the afternoon when I came home from school. I can honestly say that this show transformed my love for Batman. This literally is my favorite cartoon show of all time. This was how I always pictured Bruce Wayne and Batman and the villains that he faced. The plots were complicated and very mature. There were literary references littered throughout the shows and tributes paid to the original creators of the Batman comics. BTAS protrayed Bruce Wayne as he was meant to be: a deeply disturbed, dark human being who could only find satisfaction and purpose in crime fighting after what he had been through in his childhood. Bruce Wayne was rarely happy, rarely smiling. Moreover, there was always a sad weakness in him. His vulnerability was always clear. But he still fought the good fight. The villains...what can I say? They too were extremely dark and complex. The Joker's love of tricks and dilemmas, Two-Face's undying grudge and addiction to gambling, The Scarecrow's use of fear and Clay's constantly changing form (both emotional and physical) were always things I understood more and more as I got older. And what BTAS did with the Emmy winning episode where the origins of The Freeze were explained...OH MY GOD! The Freeze ended up being a tragic character, forever frozen due to unrequited love, leading the viewer to have an odd compassion towards him. The topics that were dealt with included choice, destiny, fate, morality, truth, justice, harmony, compassion and love. I loved every minute of it. Moreover, the animation was superb.

After that, there were other movies...Batman Forever and Batman and Robin came out (gag me please). But I never got the same complexity and interest out of those that I did with BTAS, and that's sad. A kid's TV-show beat out the movies in terms of writing and complexity. And there was no way that George Clooney should have ever been a Batman.

Before I watched Batman Begins, I was skeptical. I didn't think the magic of BTAS could ever be captured again. And I am not a big superhero movie fan either. I didn't really enjoy the James Bond flicks and hated Superman. I mean, come on, if you're the man of steel, have superhuman strength and can fly and are faster than a speeding bullet, you'd better be able to save the world no matter what. There was never anything interesting. I stopped watching the James Bond movies after Goldeneye. Yeah, the plot was somewhat interesting, but when he's running from the Russian military on that open runway at the airport with all the soldiers firing AK-47s at him, and he manages to escape because they all miss...I just turned it off. I need a psychological thriller type plot with the action supplementing it. That's what a superhero movie should be.

Then I saw who the cast was for Batman Begins. Christian Bale as Bruce Wayne? Hmm...that seemed relatively interesting. A very versatile actor. He has the style of a Bruce Wayne type, a strong voice, good facial expressions, and can play dark characters. I've been a huge fan since American Psycho. Michael Caine as Alfred? That seems like the perfect casting. Morgan Freeman as Fox? Yeah, that can work too. Gary Oldman as James Gordon? I couldn't have picked it better. Liam Neeson? Ken Watanabe? Oh my God, this could be good. So I watched it.

And let me say, Batman is back!!! BTAS only occasionally referred to the origins of Batman in flashbacks in various episodes, but never had an episode about it. This is the first time, that the origins of Batman were shown on the screen properly. The feeling in my gut that I had when I watched BTAS was back. The villains were complicated, Bruce Wayne himself was deeply troubled. The dark imagery was overwhelming and the adrenaline coursing through me was constant. Plus the layering of the plot and the philosophical allegories were brilliant. The idea of FEAR was brought forth, examined, discussed and then turned upside-down. I really enjoyed it like I hadn't enjoyed a super hero movie in a long time. The acting and cinematography were also superb.

Tonight, I saw The Dark Knight. And I have absolutely nothing to say. It's 2:13 AM as I type this and I still can't sleep. The emotional, psychological, visual and grueling thrillride that was this movie simply cannot be matched. I had high expectations going in. People who had already seen it told me it was ten times better than Batman Begins, and I LOVED Batman Begins. There are times when people can build a movie up too much and it always turns out good but never as good as you expect, so I was cautious. Nevertheless, I was still blown away. The character of the Joker as brought to a whole new level for me. Bruce Wayne continued to develop, and his emotional vulnerability and physical weaknesses became central to the film. I have so much to say, but I just can't say it. It was such a rush. If anyone hasn't seen this movie, then they must. If they were ever fans of Batman, then it's a crime for them to miss this. This and Batman Begins are truly bringing together all of the previous embodiments of Batman and placing truth in front of the audience. That is, what Batman was always meant to be.

I loved the movie.

Did Nothing

I was hoping to have tons to write about today since I had so much planned for the weekend. For example, I was suppsoed to go salsa dancing on Friday night, but that didn't happen. I was supposed to go rowing on Saturday morning but that didn't happen either. I literally ended up accomplishing nothing this weekend.

So Friday night, yeah, my toe was still killing me. I suffered all day, hoping I'd be able to go Friday night, but no, I couldn't. I stayed in and relaxed and watched TV. Boooo. I'll have to write about salsa dancing some other time then.

On Saturday morning, I set my alarm (on a saturday morning) and woke up at 6AM. I got ready and left the house and got to the lake by 7AM. I was at the right place, the right time and everything, but no one was there. I did see a few boats out on the lake (and it looked like they were having a great time rowing), but no one was at the dock. I later found out that the rowing club had a race that day in Rhode Island and as a result, they started earlier that morning. So I missed out on rowing. So I went home dejected. I was supposed to have brunch with a friend in Boston, but I fell asleep on the couch as result of having woken up so early. So that didn't happen either.

Now here is a point where I could have been productive. I recently had my car's brakes changed and inspected, blah blah, but the tires still needed to be aligned and rotated. I could have gone to the tire shop and gotten all that done Saturday afternoon since it was free. Hell, I could have even read a book, gone over some research stuff, learned some SAS programming, read about biostatistics, etc. But no, I did nothing. I watched TV all day. And since nothing is on on Saturday afternoon, I ended up watching stuff on the Food network. Luckily, there were a few episodes of the Mythbusters, which I always enjoy.

On Sunday, I did have lunch with a few friends, celebrating someone's birthday. Afterwards, I relaxed, giving up on being productive over the weekend. Once I gave in, I enjoyed being lazy.

Today, I was at the library, learning some SAS programming and doing some preliminary work on my research project (due August 25th!!). Plus, I got my car all set, and got organized a little bit more. So all in all, today was pretty good. But I need to make up for this past weekend.

So to summarize what I am planning for the next few weeks: GYM!!, rowing, salsa dancing, swing dancing (Finally!), and RESEARCH.

On a side note, tomorrow, I will be seeing the Dark Knight on IMAx. That's gonna be absolutely awesome, I'm very much looking forward to it.

First Game of New Soccer Session!

I started playing indoor soccer a few months ago at Teamworks in Northborough and it was the best decision I have made this year. I didn't have a team of my own, so I just signed up as a free agent. I used to play soccer as a little kid, but stopped freshman year of high school. My high school was very serious about sports and even if I made varsity the following year, I wouldn't have gotten any playing time anyways. So I made the decision back then to quit soccer and focus on non-athletic extra curricular activities since soccer would have taken up a majority of time if I continued it. I totally regret that decision because I only now realize the value of high school team sports. The social comeraderie, the committment and effort. Not only that, I feel like those who played sports and were in good shape in high school, the formative years of growth both physical and emotional, tend to continue to be physically and emotionally healthy throughout adulthood. Now, for me, it takes extra effort to maintain my weight at a BMI with which I am comfortable.

Last session, I was also a free agent and was placed on a "free agent team." Needless to say, we lost every game by a large margin. But the point was, it was laid fun for our team. Everyone was having a good time, getting some exercise, and not yelling at each other like I saw some other teams do. Nobody was very intense and by the end of it all, we all felt pretty good. There's a group of medical students that play as a team, but they're taking the current session off. Hopefully, I'll be able to join them next session.

Anyways, tonight was our very first game. There were enough free agents to make two sucky teams for this session so we played each other. The score ended up tied in the end 10-10 so all in all, it was both a really bad and really awesome game. I'm totally winded.

ALSO, at one point I was on D. The other team's player was charging at me with the ball. I stuck my foot out, knocked the ball out of the way, but the guy didn't stop running and ran his foot right into my right big toe. It felt like he took out the nail. I felt immediate intense pain, but couldn't think. The ball rolled to another player on their team and he had an open shot on net (only the goalie was there). I managed to run over, jump in front of the shot, and the ball banged off my ass and was cleared. I played the rest of the game with mild pain in my right toe (I was able to move it and it was clear it wasn't broken).

On the way home in the car, I noticed that the pain was considerably worse now that I wasn't playing and the adrenaline of the game wasn't coursing through me. By the time I got home, the stinging was unbearable. I took off my shoe and noticed that the sock was all bloody around the area of the toe.

NOW, to interject here, I was both dismayed and THRILLED! When I started playing soccer a few months ago, I scraped up my knee pretty badly the very first game. The blood was dripping down to the top of my sock (covering the shinguard). I was actually pretty happy at the time because I seriously couldn't remember the last time I had scraped my knee. There was a time during elementary and middle school where I tried to think of a time when my some part of my body wasn't scraped. I was so active then. But then I quit sports and my studies took over and then college was pretty lazy. Seriously, I never scraped anything and it kind of pissed me off to know that I was no longer athletic or active and that I was a good 25 pounds over the weight with which I was comfortable. Looking at my knee that day was awesome and it felt great. Similarly, today, looking at my toe and looking at the bloody sock, I had mixed feelings. Yeah, I was in pain, but I had a bloody sock!!! I played through pain!! Just like Curt Schilling in that legendary 2004 ALCS!!

Anyways, I wanted to take a picture of my own bloody sock, but my mom, being the perfect mom that she is, immediately threw the sock into the sink, knowing that the bloodstain wouldn't come out if we waited longer. Damn her. But here's a picture of my toe all wrapped up! I think the nail may come off, there's definitely blood in the nail bed. It'll probably turn black for sure.

This really may put a damper on the salsa cruise tomorrow night, but I hope it won't be too bad tomorrow and that the injury was largely soft tissue. The nail was largely intact actually. And hopefully, I'll be able to play next week, cause I had a great time (though I am ridiculously out of shape).

1st Progress Post

So as of right now, I feel like things are progressing slowly. But that is to be expected as I have really set a bunch of goals without having a clear idea of how I am going to achieve them. I'm confident that things will iron out and I will be able to eventually get into a routine. Right now, just reading what I just wrote, I can see that my blog will be quite dry if I keep writing like this. An unstated reason for me blogging in addition to simply documenting the year and making myself accountable to something for motivation was to also improve my writing skills. I mean, my writing is crap. It's so mechanical, scientific and simply uncreative. I think by writing often (i.e. blogging), I'll have to improve somewhat...right?

OK, so research....this has been really tough so far, but I'm just starting as of yet. Basically, my research for the year is going to be retrospective studies using these huge inpatient databases (some state level, some national level, either way, thousands of patients with thousands of fields for information) to look at hospital treatment outcomes. So the good thing is that it is many projects and it will give me the experience of simply coming up with interesting ideas and seeing their results relatively quickly. Right now, however, my knowledge about this stuff is minimal. We will be using SAS to analyze these data and that inovlves learning a programming language. Now, it's not possible to learn an entire programming language relatively quickly for someone like me (i.e. no programming background). But I need to learn enough of the basics and concepts so that I won't require too much help. Additionally, I need to learn biostatistics. I got a great book called Intuitive Biostatisitcs that I'm trying to pound through as fast as possible, but the days have been slow and progress has been minimal. My goal right now is to just work hard and finish a project as quickly as possible. I'll learn SAS as much as possible and, hopefully, I'll have the opportunity to be productive. Ultimately, I want the experience of coming up with an idea, using the database and SAS to analyze the results, write the abstract and submit it to a meeting, write the manusrcipt, present at the meeting, and then push the manuscript through for publication. That's the goal. If I can repeat that 2 times, then this year will be wildly successful!!!

As far as keeping my life in order organizationally, I've decided to make my calendar electronic. I will enjoy updating it and therefore, I will likely review it. So, I will be using Google Calendar for now. Ultimately, I'd like to purchase a smart phone to hold some medical software and my calendar/email/personal tasks. That way, I'll be able to carry around the calendar with me. For now, I found a great application called Remember The Milk and it has been awesome tool for a to-do list, though I'm having trouble getting it to interact with Google Calendar the way I'd like it to. Basicallly, the key to a good organization system is the weekly review. That's the most important part in David Allen's Getting Things Done and I think for the next few weeks I need to be consciously consistent in reviewing. If I can do that, then I should be able to get into the habit and will be able to define my actions and have a system that will let my thoughts fall out of my head and into a place where I don't need to think about them and can review them in a timely manner.

My Exercise Goals: I will start soccer this Thursday!! I will be on another Free Agent team as I am signing up by myself and that likely means that we will lose every game this season by a sizeable margin, but hey, I'm gonna get better at soccer and I will have fun and I will get in shape. Hopefully in September, I'll be able to join one of the medical school teams. Rowing will start this Sunday morning. Hopefully I will make it.

This Friday evening, I will be going on a salsa cruise in the boston harbor. The more I dance, the better I'll become. I'll write all about my experience with ballroom dancing (only Salsa for now) at a later time as this post is already getting prohibitively long.

OK, so cooking...I'm learning slowly. I think my goal for the summer is to cook one serious meal per week, most likely on a weekend night. The goal of this will be to simply try, not necessarily to make something edible. If it is edible, then yay!! I'm taking one day cooking class about meats with Helen Rennie in mid August and I think that will really help me. I'll write about that when the time comes. So at least that's going right now...

OKAY, that's it for now. Looks like I have something sort of planned in each facet of my goals for the year. I'll probably end up adding goals and doing other stuff and most definitely will end up not achieving or simply giving up on a bunch of goals, but this is where I am right now.

PHEW...that took much longer than I expected. Hopefully, I'll get better at this.

Below is what I would ideally like to accomplish this upcoming year. These are my overall goals and contain the numerous components of my life that I would like to constantly keep in mind and work towards. I'll keep the blog updated whenever I get a chance on how I am doing regarding each of the things below.

Research
-Learn Biostatistics
-Learn SAS language as much as possible
-Learn to write papers
-Come up with tons of ideas
-Write tons of papers

Medical School Stuff
-Study for Step 2 CK
-Take Step 2 CK in January
-Figure out what you want to do with your life!!!!

Stay Organized
-Continue to use the system in Getting Things Done
-Make the organizational system as electronic as possible

Exercise
-Regularly workout at the gym
-Join rowing club at Lake Quinsigamond
-Play indoor soccer at Teamworks

Ballroom Dance
-Learn salsa dancing as well as possible
-Take lessons @ World Rhythms
-Take lessons @ MIT
-Finish private lessons with Javier
-Go clubbing as much as possible
-Start East Coast Swing progressive lessons @ PSM dance studio

Miscellaneous Personal
-Continue to learn how to cook
-Continue to explore wines
-Learn as much about personal finance as possible
-Finish reading Personal Finance for Dummies
-Read novels or listen to e-books when there is time.
-Start a BLOG!!!